If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
