I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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