At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There's even glitter on my cock...
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