Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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