someone threw a dead crab at me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize