Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize