I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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