So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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