It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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