Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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