just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize