And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
