It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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