It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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