I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize