garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
