That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
