I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
