Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
