Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
