dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
