No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
