just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
