Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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