Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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