we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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