i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
