I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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