Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
