you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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