She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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