I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
