I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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