Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
