addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
