if i died would you start the facebook group?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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