he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Green mimosas i think yes
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just want nice things and good sex
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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