I want to stick my p in your. b.
i would punch a child for taco bell
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
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