Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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