he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My pussy is not your playground.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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