What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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