I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
