Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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