You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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