that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize