She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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