Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
