i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
