My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
