I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
