you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
