could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
