Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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