Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

  (810): View more from Michigan

  With himself

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  (810): I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo (810): With himself http://tfl.nu/5c4h
  Replies (1) Good night (926) Bad night (1067)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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  (208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq
  Replies (16) Good night (1109) Bad night (3186)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes but- 100% agreed

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  (617): I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick? (1-617): Yes but- 100% agreed http://tfl.nu/cz25
  Replies (29) Good night (3723) Bad night (891)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.

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  (414): Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after. http://tfl.nu/9oxv
  Replies (41) Good night (1319) Bad night (7628)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (4015) Bad night (916)
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  (510): View more from California

  Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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  (510): Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day. http://tfl.nu/kbev
  Replies (7) Good night (1436) Bad night (2678)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

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  (207): He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job. http://tfl.nu/muvn
  Replies (7) Good night (2316) Bad night (1265)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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  (423): Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea http://tfl.nu/mhka
  Replies (17) Good night (1030) Bad night (2980)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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  (651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2090) Bad night (664)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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  (941): So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic http://tfl.nu/vgkg
  Replies (8) Good night (1624) Bad night (802)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.

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  (651): "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk. http://tfl.nu/ji17
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (513)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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  (902): I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat? http://tfl.nu/t6q6
  Replies (5) Good night (934) Bad night (381)
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  (650): View more from California

  Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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  (650): Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you http://tfl.nu/x9ov
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (316)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!

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  (412): i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt! http://tfl.nu/8lpp
  Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (375)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...

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  (803): sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job... http://tfl.nu/rvys
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (262)

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