i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!