Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

(1-416): View more from Ontario

u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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(519): View more from Ontario

just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.

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(516): View more from New York

id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

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(586): View more from Michigan

I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.

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(801): View more from Utah

Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.

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(310): View more from California

Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.

(778): View more from British Columbia

Proud of you.

(604): View more from British Columbia

We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.

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