Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

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  (734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2hiy
  Replies (18) Good night (953) Bad night (5021)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (809) Bad night (4621)
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  (661): View more from California

  so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.

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  (661): so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa. http://tfl.nu/lwmw
  Replies (22) Good night (6187) Bad night (824)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.

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  (937): We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard. http://tfl.nu/l7xl
  Replies (10) Good night (4124) Bad night (1151)
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  (707): View more from California

  She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.

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  (707): She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed. http://tfl.nu/z812
  Replies (22) Good night (1526) Bad night (4961)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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  (973): So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter http://tfl.nu/eba3
  Replies (36) Good night (2159) Bad night (5814)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.

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  (940): I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again. http://tfl.nu/j6me
  Replies (7) Good night (929) Bad night (2326)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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  (505): Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about http://tfl.nu/ldbx
  Replies (5) Good night (1306) Bad night (718)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.

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  (903): I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot. http://tfl.nu/592z
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (355)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.

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  (864): Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol. http://tfl.nu/rl00
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (384)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.

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  (480): I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy. http://tfl.nu/w6tg
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (584)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (347): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hy52
  Replies (4) Good night (771) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco

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  (337): You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco http://tfl.nu/5cvy
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.

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  (330): We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/w4f0
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (158)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better

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  (406): Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better http://tfl.nu/4mt7
  Replies (0) Good night (258) Bad night (112)

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