8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!