Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I hate your face

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  (816): I hate your face http://tfl.nu/3afk
  Replies (7) Good night (2467) Bad night (2395)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...

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  (239): so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM... http://tfl.nu/hm43
  Replies (33) Good night (919) Bad night (3171)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair

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  (508): even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair http://tfl.nu/q2bb
  Replies (25) Good night (2722) Bad night (1382)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge

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  (505): I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge http://tfl.nu/o9mq
  Replies (12) Good night (670) Bad night (6442)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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  (516): my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/m93n
  Replies (110) Good night (34039) Bad night (1566)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.

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  (361): I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness. http://tfl.nu/49ei
  Replies (11) Good night (1416) Bad night (4052)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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  (239): all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut http://tfl.nu/x9ek
  Replies (14) Good night (3789) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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  (239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z
  Replies (2) Good night (2570) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure

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  (507): I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure http://tfl.nu/8ozd
  Replies (5) Good night (2559) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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  (505): Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success http://tfl.nu/y0qf
  Replies (0) Good night (1186) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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  (216): We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret. http://tfl.nu/ko6r
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.

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  (949): I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited. http://tfl.nu/5fzq
  Replies (0) Good night (761) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now

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  (425): I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now http://tfl.nu/r2zb
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.

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  (517): Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line. http://tfl.nu/nb9z
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.

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  (405): I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation. http://tfl.nu/nwep
  Replies (4) Good night (325) Bad night (428)

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