I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.