I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me