I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize