I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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