did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
