Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
