After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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