They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
