Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
