she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
