no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
